Ninja Cat
posted at 9/21/2008 10:39:00 AM
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Sunday, September 21, 2008Sunday, June 01, 2008Wednesday, May 28, 2008163 = Eat Laksa
 A very "beng-ish" advertisement. But it works! I actually remember the number to call. heehee Labels: Humor posted at 5/28/2008 11:39:00 AM
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Monday, May 19, 2008Wednesday, June 20, 2007Saturday, March 24, 2007Bak Kut Teh
This is one of the must-eat dishes for visitors to Singapore. Bak-Kut-Teh is basically spicy pork ribs soup. Even Thaksin Shinawatra (He made an unofficial visit here in January not long after he was ousted) came all the way here to eat at the bak-kuh-teh stall in Rangoon Road. My brother bought a box of Teochew-style bak-kuh-teh spice. It claimed to be the authentic Singapore bak-kuh-teh and I'm sure it is. Why? Because the cooking instruction was written in Singlish!
I've tried it already. It's quite good! I love mine to have lots of garlic and pepper. Besides pork ribs, I also added mushrooms. Shiok man! posted at 3/24/2007 10:45:00 PM
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Sunday, December 18, 2005Tuesday, May 17, 2005The Dirty New Car
 We stay in a housing estate with a public multi-storey carpark... acronymed MSCP. It's a nice neighbourhood but on and off there've been cases of car vandalisms. Not those serious ones like smashing windows, setting cars on fire etc. but scratching cars. It's enough to annoy the hell out of car owners. Even our old Citroen's been scratched. Can't understand why these people do it. Grudge? Envious? Drunks? wtf? Well. Our new car arrived last Tuesday. My hubby thought it's best to keep the car as low profile as possible. In other word... dirty. That's not too difficult. Just a trip to one of my construction sites and the car would be covered with a layer of mud and dirt. He reckoned that if we appeared not too interested in the looks of our car, those vandals would not find "satisfaction" in scratching our car. So I'll be driving a dirty new car until we move to our new home in a year's time or until we get our maiden scratch, whichever comes first. *sigh* Labels: Humor posted at 5/17/2005 11:06:00 PM
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Thursday, May 12, 2005Star Wars Fever
It's back again. All that Star Wars fever and merchandising frenzy. My son, who is 9, loves Star Wars. He has watched Episode I, II, IV to VI countless times and is eagerly waiting for III. Someone mentioned the scenes were quite graphic and may not be suitable for kids. Hmmm... Episode III will be screened on 19 May here instead of the 17 May elsewhere. Anyway I was surfing and chanced upon this post in TalkingCock.com (a satirical humour website on issues affecting Singapore). This particular post was titled "Lines from Star Wars that can be Improved by Replacing a Word with 'Pants' ". I'm sure you can see what's coming.. 1. I find your lack of pants disturbing. 2. You are unwise to lower your pants. 3. Chewie and me got into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this. 4. The Force is strong in my pants. 5. I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants. 6. Governer Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's pants. 7. I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your pants. 8. Your pants, you will not need them. 9. These aren't the pants you're looking for. 10. You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought. 11. Pull up! All pants pull up! 12. I sense the conflict within you. Let go of your pants! 13. Alderaan is peaceful, we have no pants! 14. The pants will be down in moments, sir, you can begin your landing. 15. In his pants you will find a new definition of pain and suffering 16. That blast came from the pants! That thing's operational! 17. Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants. 18. I've just made a deal that will keep the Empire out of our pants forever. 19. A disturbance in the pants. I have not felt this since near my old master... 20. Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants. 21. Looks like someone's beginning to take an interest in your pants. 22. Jabba, please take these pants as a token of friendship 23. Your pants can deceive you. Don't trust them 24. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your pants. 25. It's your father's pants. This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. 26. Look at the size of those pants! 27. You knew my pants? 28. Search your pants, you know it to be true. 29. Yahoo! You're all clear kid. Now let's blow these pants and go home! 30. I've got a bad feeling in my pants about this. If you are a SW fan, you'll probably recognise who said these (I meant the original version), to whom the lines were spoken to, where and when the lines were said (in the style of my literature tests once upon a time). Labels: Humor posted at 5/12/2005 10:38:00 PM
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Tuesday, May 10, 2005New Species of Dinosaur
CLASS95 has got this game called "5 in 9". The DJ will give the caller a category and the caller will have to name 5 items in that category within 9 seconds. The prize is $50 and will snowball to the next round if a caller fail to answer within the timing. I gave up long time ago trying to call in.
Anyway. This morning, during the Morning Express segment. Flying Dutchman : Glen will give you the category and you have 9 seconds to name us 5 items. Ready? Glen : Here we go! The category is Dinosaur. Name 5 types of dinosaurs. Flying Dutchman : And your time starts... Now! Caller : er... er... (apparently under a lot of stress) one is er.. Durex! Heh heh heh.... His mind was obviously somewhere else! Labels: Humor posted at 5/10/2005 09:24:00 PM
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Friday, March 18, 2005It wasn't my fault....
The following are actual statements placed on insurance forms where the car's driver attempted to summarize the details of their accident in the fewest words possible. • Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. • The other car collided with mine without giving any warning of its intentions. • I thought the window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it. • A truck backed through my windshield and into my wife's face. • A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. • The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. • I pulled away from the side of the road, glaced at my mother-in-law, and headed over an embankment. • In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone poll. • I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car. • I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. • The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him. • I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident. • As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. • To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian. • My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle. • I told the police that I was not injured, but upon removing my hat, found that I had a fractured skull. • I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car. • The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. • I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows. • The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front of my car. Labels: Humor posted at 3/18/2005 12:14:00 AM
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Monday, March 14, 2005Courtroom Humor
By the Court Clerk: Please repeat after me, "I swear by Almighty God ..." By the Witness: I swear by Almighty God. Clerk: That the evidence that I give ... Witness: That's right. Clerk: Repeat it. Witness: Repeat it. Clerk: No! Repeat what I said. Witness: What you said when? Clerk: That the evidence that I give ... Witness: That the evidence that I give. Clerk: Shall be the truth and ... Witness: It will, and nothing but the truth! Clerk: Please. Just repeat after me, "Shall be the truth and ..." Witness: I'm not a scholar, you know. Clerk: We can appreciate that. Just repeat after me, "Shall be the truth and ..." Witness: Shall be the truth and. Clerk: Say, "Nothing ..." Witness: Okay. [Witness remains silent] Clerk: No! Don't say nothing. Say, "Nothing but the truth ..." Witness: Yes. Clerk: Can't you say, "Nothing but the truth ...?" Witness: Yes. Clerk: Well? ... Do so. Witness: You're confusing me. Clerk: Just say, "Nothing but the truth ..." Witness: Is that all? Clerk: Yes. Witness: Okay. I understand. Clerk: Then say it. Witness: What? Clerk: "Nothing but the truth ..." Witness: But I do! That's just it. Clerk: You must say, "Nothing but the truth ..." Witness: I will say nothing but the truth! Clerk: Please, just repeat these four words "Nothing," "But," "The" "Truth." Witness: What? You mean, like, now? Clerk: Yes! Now. Please. Just say those four words. Witness: "Nothing. But. The. Truth" Clerk: Thank you. Witness: I'm just not a scholar you know. Labels: Humor posted at 3/14/2005 10:05:00 PM
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Saturday, March 12, 2005Funny Signs
Read that these are real signs found in America.
* At restaurant-gas stations throughout the nation: "Eat here and get gas." * At a Sante Fe gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container." * In a New Hampshire jewelry store: "Ears pierced while you wait." * In an New York restaurant" "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager." * In a Michigan restaurant: "The early bird gets the worm!" "Special shoppers' luncheon before 11:00 AM." * On a delicatessen wall: "Our best is none too good." * On the wall of a Baltimore estate: "Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law." "-- Sisters of Mercy" * On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaning store: "Thirty-eight years on the same spot." * In a Los Angeles dance hall: "Good clean dancing every night but Sunday." * On a movie theater: "Children's matinee today. Adults not admitted unless with child." * In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed!" * In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy." * On a New York loft building: "Wanted: Woman to sew buttons on the fourth floor." * In a New Hampshire medical building: "Martin Diabetes Professional Ass." * In the office of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home." * In a New York medical building: "Mental health prevention center." * In a toy department: "Five Santa Clauses -- no waiting." * On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church." * On a Maine shop: "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship. * At a number of military bases: "Restraicted to unauthorized personnel." * In a number of parking areas: "Violators will be enforced and Trespassers will be violated." * On a display of "I Love You Only" Valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs." * In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: "Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machines do the dirty work." * In a funeral parlor: "Ask about our layaway plan. * On a window of a New Hampshire hamburger restaurant: "Yes, we are open. Sorry for the inconvenience." * In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks." * In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's wool suits - $10.00 - They won't last an hour!" * On an Indiana shopping mall marquee: "Archery tournament. Ears pierced." * In the bathroom of a large apartment building: "When taking showers, please leave the bathroom door a jar. This will prevent the plaster from peeling." * Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques." * On a North Carolina highway: "EAT" "300 FEET" * On an Ohio highway: "Drive slower When Wet." * On a New Hampshire highway: "You are speeding when flashing." * On a Pennsylvania highway: "Drive carefully: Auto accidents kill most people from 15 to 19." * In downtown Boston: "Calahan Tunnel/No. End." * In the window of an Oregon general store: "Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?" * In a Massachusettes parking area reserved for birdwatchers: "Parking for birds only." * In a New Jersey restaurant: "Open 11:00 AM to 11:00 PM Midnight." * In front of a New Hampshire restaurant: "Now serving live lobsters." * In front of a New Hampshire store: "Endurable floors." * On a radiator repair garage: "Best place too take a leak." * On a movie marquee: Now Playing: Adam and Eve with a cast of thousands! * In the vestry of a New England church: "Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished." * In a Pennsylvania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves." * On a roller coaster: "Watch your head." * On a New Hampshire road: "Will build to suit Emory A. Tuttle" * On the grounds of a private school: "No trespassing without permission." * In a library: "Blotter paper will no longer be available until the public stops taking it away. * On a Tennessee highway: "Take Notice: When this sign is under water the road is impasable." * Similarily in a New Hampshire car wash: "If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car." Labels: Humor posted at 3/12/2005 12:14:00 AM
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Wednesday, March 09, 2005For the guys...
Understand the meaning behind words women use
"FINE"
Labels: Humor posted at 3/09/2005 10:36:00 PM
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Saturday, February 26, 2005Funny Bloggers
Saw this hilarious blog. The Brand New Morning Show on Channelnewsasia. I've watched CNA's morning show in the past but stopped since school started this year. Have to rush the kids to school, so no more time for TV in the mornings. Btw, for the sensitive souls, beware of heavy use of vulgarities. For the rest who watches CNA, it's side-splitting. Gu thinks he was caught by traffic police last evening. He's also convinced that the traffic police had read his blog and is punishing him for his impertinence.  Labels: Humor posted at 2/26/2005 12:59:00 PM
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Tuesday, February 01, 2005Becareful what you say to your kids
During the weekdays my kids, Bryan & Rachel, will be at my mom's place after school. The family immediately below my mom's unit has a boy, who happened to be called Bryan too. Our boy is younger, so we called him Little Bryan, and we call the other boy Big Bryan (duh...) The two Bryans have been playing together since they were toddlers and they had a real noisy way of passing messages - through the windows at the top of their voices. That was before they learnt to use the phones. And now even with the phones, from time to time, they'll revert to the old way of shouting from the windows. I wasn't at my mom's place. My sister-in-law told me about it. Last Saturday, both boys agreed to meet online at a game called Runescape. Little Bryan didn't see Big Bryan in the game so he tried to call him on the phone. But his line was engaged all the while. Little Bryan gave up and went to the window to shout for Big Bryan. He told Big Bryan that his phone line was engaged. My mom, who was nearby, jokingly said perhaps they haven't been paying their phone bills. And guess what? Little Bryan dutifully repeated that through the window at the top of his voice. I think at least 4 other families heard that. It was hilarious! I'm sure my mom must have been so embarrassed! Labels: Humor posted at 2/01/2005 11:18:00 AM
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Sunday, January 23, 2005Battle Ready Armour
My kids learn strange things from Cartoon Network... Bra = Battle-Ready-Armour
Labels: Humor posted at 1/23/2005 04:13:00 PM
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